


show me the miles/your arms/the pink scar

by themrys



Category: DC Animated Universe, Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Car Accidents, Hurt Wally West, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:16:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themrys/pseuds/themrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Wally starts losing his speed, he starts losing himself. Luckily he has his very own lightning rod to bring him back down to Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	show me the miles/your arms/the pink scar

**Author's Note:**

> cw for possible suicide attempt. wally gets into an accident that is very much his own fault, but it isn't really intended/him trying to kill himself. however he does refer to it that way. 
> 
> also: what is canon. what is the plot of any of the comics idk and idgaf. 
> 
> title from sloppy seconds by george watsky.

"God, you're an idiot."

 

Dick traced the rough skin across Wally's elbow, his fingers dipping into the puckered scar tissue. It'd only taken a few weeks for the wound to close but the scar still remained. Dick thought what was left of the speedsters' quick healing would've gotten rid of it. Looking at the furrowed eyebrows of his best friend, Dick wondered if Wally had somehow managed to concentrate the scar into existence and forced it to stay.

"Wouldn't be the first time someone's called me that," Wally quipped back, his fingers on his left hand jerking in reaction to the gentle tracing. Dick's touch was so soft, so light it felt like he was barely even making contact. Wally had always been ticklish but something about Dick heightened it. He resisted the urge to bat Dick's fingers away, torn between loving the comfort the touch brought and the resentment he felt at the scar. Dick was always touching him these days, his hands a constant presence on his shoulders or at his waist or tangled into Wally's own hands. His grip felt tighter than before and Wally was amazed at his ability to even tell the difference. He was glad for it. To tell the truth Wally felt like Dick's hold on him was the only thing keeping him on the ground. 

His very own lightning rod, as Uncle Barry would call it.

* * *

 

He knew how to be reckless, how to throw caution to the wind and run like a bat out of hell with no true destination. He knew how to force his body to push itself to its limits, make it burn through more energy than any lightning storm could produce. He knew how to go, far and fast, away away away.

He just didn't know how to  _ stop _ . 

* * *

 

Wally's foot felt heavy against the pedal. It was as if someone had replaced his foot with bricks made of lead. In his mind he was helpless, unable to stop that fatal foot from slamming against the gas as hard and far as it could. Break through the floor of the car if he could. Unable to quit trying to reach lightning speeds. Time travel speeds. Speeds that at one wrong turn caused a lot more than just one broken bone.

* * *

_ Runningrunningrunning _ , dashing out of control down highways and past skyscrapers that most definitely lived up to their name. Hearing the shattering of glass in car and home windows, the force around him too much to handle. Some days Wally thought his feet had a mind of their own, always on the move, desperate to escape whatever was nipping at their heels. Escaping a monster that Wally could barely comprehend. A monster he didn't know about. A monster he never knew the name of. 

Racing along the pavement with friction-hot feet, he just needed to push himself that extra second faster. Just enough to escape it. 

* * *

 

He didn't know how to stop, so the world did it for him. 

* * *

 

"Sometimes I think that I'm the daredevil, jumping off buildings and out of batjets, but it turns out that you are," Dick's voice wasn't loud but he was definitely yelling. The volume never increased from its normal room level, but his words somehow managed to fill the entire room. Dick himself seemed to grow a million feet taller, pushing his awareness into every corner of the room until there was no where left for Wally to run. Not that he was sure he really could. His legs felt completely numb, barely able to get standing, let alone running. "But, I guess I was wrong. I guess we all should've paid a little more attention to Kid Danger over here, who gets wiped out by what? Not a villain, not a mission, but his own dumb ideas!"

"Dick-" Wally winced, his gaze not leaving the his hands in his lap. He was propped up in his hospital bed, picking at the scratchy blanket they'd thrown over him when he complained about being too cold (which was scaring him, he'd always run hot, never knew what being cold _ really _ felt like). He had been hoping for a little less lecture and a little more comfort from his best friend. God knows the whole entire league was already going to bust his ass about this, starting with Uncle Barry and Uncle Hal. Wally was pretty sure even Batman was lined up to tell Wally what a colossal mistake his entire life was. "I'm- I'm sorry. I just.."

Dick clenched his jaw, happy his eyes were still covered by his mask, making it easier to hold the tears back. "I told you, if you ever felt like this to come to me. You're my best friend and I-.. I'm always here for you." 

"I know, I know." Wally's breath hitched in his chest, his lungs feeling like he'd just run for twenty four hours straight. He didn't help that he knew he hadn't, he couldn't anymore. 

"Then why didn't you talk to me?"

* * *

 

 

Pedal to the floor on a curvy desert road, the wind whistled through the car and tried valiantly to rustle the sticky sweaty hair from Wally's forehead. His breath came out in hot pants, his heart squeezed tight by his chest and feeling trapped by his lungs. He never bothered to look at the speedometer, knowing the numbers would only serve to aggravate the ache inside his body. It would never be able reach a high enough speed. Nothing to replicate the way he used to run. 

* * *

"Who am I without my powers?! Nobody! No one! Nobody cares about Wally West, the kid science  _ freak _ whose own dad  _ abused _ him! He doesn't matter, not unless he's  _ Kid Flash _ ." He could feel his stomach drop out straight through his skin and flop pathetically onto the floor. The resounding silence made his heart take the opposite direction, leaping straight into his throat and making it impossible to try and salvage the situation with words. His feet ached to run. So, they did.

* * *

 

The car creaked under the paces Wally was putting it through, protesting at the speed and the carelessness used to steer it. It was warning him to slow down, but he could barely hear it over his pulse in his ears, throbbing throughout his whole head. His blood seemed to rush slower than ever, even though he knew it was at a normal pace for an anxiety, adrenaline ridden human. He had never hated the words 'normal' and 'human' more in his life. 

Wally didn't think that even if he had known what was going to happen he'd find the willpower to slam on the breaks. Didn't think his feet would even listen. They had a mind of their own, he swore. And right then they were thinking, ' _ fasterfasterfaster _ ', his hands thought, ' _ turn now! you've gotta make the curve! _ '

At the same time he heard the wheels squeal, heard the dirt crunch, the animals cry out and dash away, felt his forehead go straight for the window.

* * *

"I'm-.." Dick stopped short of saying sorry, knowing the words would not be well received by his hotheaded redhead. "I can't say I know what this feels like. But I do know how I feel about you, so I'm telling you right now Wally West. I love you. With or without your speed. Being a speedster is not the only quality you possess. You're smart, a genius actually, hilarious, quick on your feet," Wally let out a huff of laughter at that, knowing the pun was very much intended, "You'd do anything to protect the team. There's much more to you than just your speed."

Wally pulled Dick into his arms, resting his forehead into Dick's neck and took a deep breath. He could feel the tears running down his face but refused to let his weeping become loud, wracking sobs. They stood silent for quite a while before Wally could reply, his voice muffled soft. "I-I just don't know what to do, Dick." 

"Me either," Dick whispered back. "But we'll figure it out together."

* * *

Wally could hear a loud ticking, a hissing noise, the sounds of tires rolling across a busted up road. His head hurt, felt like it would explode if he dared to move it. He was so exhausted, wanting to keep his eyes shut forever. Why was he even awake? He was sleeping so nicely just a few seconds ago... Wasn't he?

A loud clang startled him, his body jerking although it had nowhere to go. He felt squished, his body being pressed on from all angles. He could feel his breath gasping in his chest underneath all the pain and just over it he could hear frantic shouting, a familiar voice or two. Were they calling for him? Was he okay? God, his ribs really hurt and he could feel his elbow more sharply than ever. He tried to pull his arm towards his chest and whimpered, the pain rocketing, meeting the skyscrapers he wished to run past. Was he hurt on a mission? Wasn't he just sleeping? Sleep sounded like a good idea, Wally thought. He clenched his eyes and drifted back into darkness, oblivious to the panicked Flash and Green Lantern trying to get him out of his flipped car without causing more damage. 

* * *

 

Wally had been nervous since he set foot into S.T.A.R. Labs, his face being hidden beneath his cowl and goggles was the only thing offering him safety. Looking at Uncle B's face was just making the anxiety worse, he didn't even have to speak and Wally already knew. Barry was a terrible liar, his face so open and friendly that it was hard for him to hide his emotions. As Wally looked upon his uncle, Barry's face was all deep purple melancholy with a grim frown. 

"So. I was right." Wally took a deep breath, exhaling so hard his shoulders shuddered. "I'm losing my speed."

Barry nodded slowly, reaching out to a place a warm hand on his nephew's shoulder. "I'm-I'm so sorry, Wals. I hate to have to tell you this..."

"It's okay, Uncle B. It's not your fault." He shrugged, smiling but not meaning it. There was no mirth left in his eyes, only resignation. He knew this answer was coming. He could tell each time ran he was slowing down and knew it was only a matter of time before his speed left him completely. "I was gonna quit the whole hero business for college anyways, y'know. I guess this gives me a perfect way out."

"But, Wally-" Barry started, worried at Wally's indifference to the situation. He seemed tense but not upset and angry like the second Flash had thought he would be. Barry himself was even feeling the horror at his nephew losing his powers. A fundamental part of himself. 

"It's fine. I'm fine." Wally's words were stilted and Barry knew he would run far away if he could. But he couldn't, not at a speed that Barry wouldn't be able to catch up with. 

* * *

The day they finally got together will always be clear as crystal in Wally's mind. Neither of them had known when they'd started crushing on the other, just that they finally realized it when they'd already been friends for years. It just figured that the team's (read: Artemis's) teasing about them acting like boyfriends lead to them both blurting out their affection for each other. Wally had kissed Dick, light and fast, using just a tad of super speed, hoping that if Dick didn't feel the same he could pretend as if he hadn't moved at all. But, Boy Wonder felt the kiss alright and pulled Wally back down for another, harder and sweeter kiss.

* * *

As soon as Wally managed to peel his crusted shut eyes open, Dick was the first person he saw. His head rested against the hospital bed, his hand pressed into Wally's. Wally blinked, his finger twitching, and within a moment Dick was sitting up straight. He blinked back at the bedridden speedster, sleepily saying his name. 

Wally felt numb everywhere. He could barely feel the hand that Dick was holding onto and the other one felt heavier than his foot on the gas pedal had. His legs were buzzing with that pins-and-needles-there's-millions-of-spiders-crawling-in-my-legs feeling. The lights in the room were dimmed, for which Wally was eternally grateful. His head must've gone 30 rounds with Kon's fists, leaving his brain to feel as if it'd been put through a meat grinder.  

Wally went to speak but his voice caught in his throat. His mouth was as dry and crusty, faintly tasting like dirt and blood. Sensing his needs, Dick jumped from his seat to grab a glass of water which he helped Wally down, making him take slow small sips. 

"Wh.. What h-happened?" Wally managed to whisper, Dick's hand instantly tightening around his own.

"You don't remember?" Dick questioned with a small head tilt, worry filling his bright blue eyes. Wally furrowed his brows, his nose wrinkling up his freckles in a way that Dick would always find adorable. 

"Uh.. I-. Driving. Too fast." Wally garbled out, bits and pieces slowly coming back to him in his conscious state. What little blood was left drained out of his face when the puzzle slotted together and he could recall the whole picture. His voice was almost too soft to hear on the next word, "Crash."

"Yeah, you crashed." Part of Dick wanted to laugh, used to hearing that word only come out of Bart's annoyingly fast mouth. "You were going at least 90 miles-per-hour around a turn-  _ a turn, Wally! _ \- and your car flipped-" Dick's voice was stern but never raising in volume, wanting to yell so badly but being mindful of his boyfriend's aching head, "-and Hal and Barry had to pull you out." 

Wally's eyes clenched shut. "H-how bad?"

"Oblique fracture in your left arm. Managed to crack your left collarbone too. A concussion which is blessedly mild. Plus minor cuts." Dick listed off, anger sparking on his face. "You're lucky you have such a thick skull. Your head would've went through the windshield if you haven't had your seatbelt on." 

"Dick, I-. I'm sorry-"

"No, don't you dare apologize right now. I'm too pissed off at you to care for it." Wally obediently shut his mouth, his chin dropping to his chest and eyes falling shut as he nodded. "And once you're outta this bed we're getting you a damn therapist."

* * *

Visitors from the team slowly trickle in over the next few days while Wally recuperates. M'gann comes bearing a soft looking, sad looking teddy bear and balloons and Wally feels a genuine smile pull onto his face. The balloons boast the message, 'Get well soon!' which seems awfully cheerful to Wally but he appreciates the sentiment. Aunt Iris cries and hugs him when she comes in, the speedster letting his own tears fall too. Uncle Barry places a hand on his shoulder and gives him this look which definitely means they're talking later and Wally's getting ribbed for his poor life choices. 

He feels exhausted, the energy draining from him more and more with each visit despite his naps in between. His body aches and he curses the fact that his speed has all but left him. There's just enough of it left in him to mean his cuts have disappeared and that his bones will heal much quicker than an average human's would, but in a few weeks rather than Wally's usual couple of days. His bones aren't the only part of him that feels fractured though. There's a constant ache in his chest, somewhere behind his ribs where his heart should be. 

If he were to believe in something like a soul, his would probably be in pieces on the floor. 

* * *

Barry and Bruce let Wally leave the League medbay after five days, two of which were spent unconscious and three recovering. His left arm is in a sling for his collarbone and a cast for his fracture, the plaster weighing him down. Dick is with him the whole way back to their apartment and once there, he doesn't let Wally out of sight except for when one of them uses the bathroom. Wally would be irritated by it if it wasn't so comforting to have his boyfriend watching his back, whether in the field or at home. Despite Dick being younger (and in the beginning, smaller too) he's always been protective over Wally. His very own MotherBat. Wally's knows his skills are half from Bruce, half from Alfred, blending into a perfect mixture of silent resignation and gentle worrying. 

For the first few days they're mostly silent, Dick only asking how his injuries were doing and Wally only vocalizing when he was in discomfort or pain. His mind kept replaying the incident on the team when he had broken his arm and Billy was at his beck and call until it healed. The memory made him laugh, but the joy faded when he remembered that this was not like that time. He could feel the words resting on the tip of Dick's tongue, all ' _ why did you _ ' and ' _ how could you _ ' and ' _ what were you thinking, why didn't you just talk to me before trying to kill yourself _ '. Wally wanted to cry, wanted Dick to just get out with it already. He'd been pushing the emotions down so far, hiding them from everyone he loved and he was exhausted from it. When it finally came to a head it was Wally, not Dick, who cracked, exclaiming, "I'm sorry, okay?! I just wanted to be fast again!"

Dick who had been asking what Wally wanted to eat stood still in their open kitchen (they needed one big enough to satiate a speedster's appetite and it was Wally's only request for their new living space), slowly closed the open cabinets and turned to look at his boyfriend. Dick's eyes were surprised, slightly wider than usual. A minuscule detail only someone who spent as much time with him as Wally had would pick up on. Wally was standing opposite him in the living room, their couch separating the two. His chest was heaving, the panic in his mind letting loose.

"I-I hated that I was-am losing my speed so bad! I hated it, you know, you remember in the beginning how I freaked out, I meanitskindahardtoforgetmeactinglikeatotalbaby!" Wally rushed out, what was left of his abilities and his emotions finding their escape through his speech. "I don't- Don't feel like me without it! I'm not Wally anymore, just some fraud who looks like him. I'm n-not useful anymore. The only thing I had going for me was my speed and I-I-" The tears building up in his eyes spilled over, his throat and nose getting thick with mucus. "I couldn't lose it! It was the one thing that made me feel like maybe I was worth something. L-like maybe my Dad was lying when he called me stupid and-and a waste of space and weird. Like I had place where I belonged, with Uncle Barry, with the team, w-with you."  Wally could barely hear himself over his own pulse, fast but still too slow. His mind didn't register Dick's movements until his boyfriend was in front of him. Dick's hands gently reached up to cradle the redhead's face, his fingers delicately tracing the freckles there. 

"Wally, you will always,  _ always _ , have a place with me. You will always belong with me. With the team, with Barry. We would never leave you just because you're not a speedster." Dick said, his voice quiet yet firm. His hand loped down  Wally's shoulders to hold onto freckled palms. "You're worth so much more than your speed. If I need to spend the rest of our lives reminding you, I will. You're not useless or worthless. You've never been stupid. You've made mistakes yes, but you have the brightest mind. You shine in a way that makes the rest of the stars look so dim. I love you, Wally, and I will be here for you no matter."

Dick tugged Wally into his chest, cradling his head in the crook of his neck. Wally sniffled, distantly feeling bad about getting Dick's shirt all gross and wet. The acrobat rubbed gentle hands across his shoulders and through his hair. "I want you to talk to me, okay? I don't want you to hold these feelings inside. I-I know I'm not the best role model for healthy coping mechanisms seeing as I'm a Bat but I will always listen to you." Wally nodded against his shoulder, pulling his face far enough back to speak, letting out a tear clogged 'I love you'.

Dick smiled, pressing a kiss to Wally's wild red hair, "Let's get you to bed shall we? I bet we could both use a nap and some cuddles right now."

Wally beamed shakily back at him, starting to lead the way to their bedroom, thinking to himself,  _ best boyfriend ever. _

* * *

 

Dick's arm wrapped around Wally's waist, pulling him into his side and smudging his face against the redhead's neck. "I'm proud of how far you've come." 

Wally felt his face heat up, his hand reaching down to interlock with Dick's. "Well, Mr. Cheesy, I couldn't have done it without you."

"For a dorky looking goofball, you're made of tough stuff, Mr. West." Dick quipped back, blowing a raspberry into Wally's neck, laughing when he squeaked and tried to squirm away. Wally elbowed him into stopping, groaning about how gross Dick was. 

"I've been thinking..." Wally started, pausing to find the right words. 

"Oh no, sounds terrible already," Wally laughed, turning around in Dick's arms to be able to look at his face. 

"Hush you, you're the one with the majority of the bad ideas."

"Not all of them though! You’ve had your fair share." 

"Sh. Anyways. I was thinking," Wally paused again, taking in the way Dick's face still held crinkle marks from their sheets and how his dark hair teased being long enough to block out bright blue eyes. His heart swelled in his chest, his pulse speeding up to what felt like Speedster levels. "Weshouldgetmarried. I want to marry you. Will you marry me?"

Dick floundered, his mouth opening and closing before skipping words to dive straight to giving Wally a solid, loving kiss. When he pulled back for air, his grin was luminescent, giving an emphatic, "yes!"

"I love you so much, Dick. I wouldn't have been able to get through this whole year without you. You've kept me grounded even when I wanted to do what speedsters do best and run miles the other way. You're my lighting rod," Wally blushes, internally groaning at how much sap he was spewing. "And I don't want to spend the rest of my life with anyone but you."

"You know the vows are typically said at the wedding, right? I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself," Dick joked, a soft smile encasing his face. Wally wanted to trace every cell, commit his whole body to memory. 

"Well, speedsters always have moved a little fast."

"Shut up and kiss me again, Kid Brat. I love you." 

Wally did as he was told, smiling into their kiss. He could hear all the words Dick was saying with his lips, with his rough hands that were nothing but soft. His touches said,  _ I love you, you're my safety net, I'm here for you, I love you, I loveyouIloveyou.  _ Wally's hands replied,  _ I love you too, I'll always catch you, I will always listen, Ilovelovelove you. _ He kissed his fiancé and couldn't think about his scars, his lost speed, his anxiety, his fears. So much had changed for him in so little time, but his Boy Wonder helped slow him down, helped him heal. Wally kissed his fiancé, his lightning rod, feeling for once at pace with rest of the world. 


End file.
